In the first moments, your new little one seems more like an alien than a bundle of joy, but after a bath for baby and a few deep breaths for the new parents, your little angel looks their part. Their little red face is all scrunched up, and the sounds that voice from their puckered little mouth are the most precious notes you could ever hope for. You ache any time the nurses take them for tests, and you deny offers from well meaning friends and family who offer to hold them while you get some sleep. All you want to do is be with your new baby, and you'll forego food, water and sleep to do just that! Potty Training Adventures
So its time to potty train your child, I know what your thinking! How am I ever going to do this? This is one of the great joys of parenthood; it can be a very difficult step in your child’s development. A child is ready to be potty trained anywhere between 11/2 to 3 years old and you will usually get clues as to when your child may be ready like showing an interest in the potty or wanting to wear “big kid” underwear. Everyone eventually gets the hang of it, it’s very unlikely that your child will go to high school with a diaper on so don’t worry too much, but if you need a little extra help here are some potty training tips to get you child on the road to going on his own.
First let’s talk about the don’ts of potty training your child
- Don’t force potty training on your child. Forcing your child to go will only create an atmosphere that he or she may be scared of and you will face more resistance.
- Don’t start potty training when a big life even is going on, stress, good or bad can be bad for potty training. Wait until life settles down so that your child will associate potty training with structure and routine. Don’t make accidents a big deal.
- Don’t get mad or upset, make sure they know that its natural and everyone does it and take the opportunity to show them the potty and explain to them that this is where they need to go next time. By getting angry or making it a big deal when your child ahs an accident it will actually reinforce it and may cause more accidents.
- Don’t expect your child to be trained to last through the night anytime soon. It is completely normal for bedwetting to happen up to age four.
- Don’t discount your child’s fears about potty training. Some children will be afraid of the sound of the toilet flushing, they might not understand where the toilet is going too, or they may be afraid to fall in. Explain and be patient with them no matter how silly the fear is.
- Don’t try to set a deadline, or a day that your child must be potty trained by. Each child is different and it may take some a week and others a year. Programs that promise your child will be trained in 7 days only leave the parents and children feeling as if they failed.
Ok now we can move on to what you should do:
- First you need to help your child recognize the signs of having to go to the bathroom. Usually your child will tell you after they have already done their business but this is a good sign that your child is starting to understand this bodily function. Make sure to praise your child for telling you and tell them to try and let you know next time before they go.
- Make trips to the potty a routine thing. If your child acts like he needs to go take him to the potty and let him sit but only for a few minutes at a time. If your child resists strongly do not force him to stay. Take your child at the same times everyday like first thing in the morning, after eating, after naps and before bed.
- Teach your child good hygiene and explain the purpose of bodily waste. Let your child know how to wipe properly (girls should wipe front to back to avoid bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina) and teach them to wash their hands after using the potty.
- Encourage the use of training pants and underwear.
It may seem impossible in the beginning but if you take it slow and pay attention to your child’s needs you should have no problem. Trust me this probably won’t be the biggest challenge you face with your child.
I understand that each child is different; I understand that most times boys take longer. No offense to the publisher or author of this article, but when I hear things like, “don’t expect your child to be trained to last through the night anytime soon. It is completely normal for bedwetting to happen up to age four” it makes me want to cry.
My son started showing signs of being ready at age 2; we started trying to potty train him by sitting him on his little toilet right away. When we would sit him on the potty he would scream and scream. Suffice it to say we stopped, right away. We kept on trying to introduce him to the toilet, the bathroom, all of the facilities that you find inside that room but nothing ever helped. Anytime we would mention going potty he would scream bloody murder. Finally we got some really good advice; make it a party! So one night after he went to bed we hung streamers, made a potty chart, got some goodies to give him when he went successfully etc.. The next day he woke up and came out from his room and “surprise” it’s potty party day! That day, he went (#1) on the toilet.. We were more than satisfied with this result; even though he only went pee, it was a success. We kept the chart, he hung his own stickers when he did good, everything was going good, except no BM’s on the toilet yet!
We didn’t worry about it, although it was impossible to put underwear on because he would go (#2) in them and not care, at all (use your imagination as to what kinds of messes we would end up cleaning). We kept him in training pants, and kept trying to encourage him to poop on the toilet. He almost never had a “wetting” accident, almost from the first night he would stay dry all night, every night; but when it came to bowel movements, he never even tried. It has been over a year since he successfully started peeing on the toilet,; he still has not had a bowel movement on the toilet. We have boughten him a new toilet, put a padded seat on our toilet, done everything, and nothing.
He we are, March of 2009 and our son who was born Sept. 2004 has started peeing in his diaper again. Our son for the last year, when approached to try and poop on the toilet would say things such as, “I am mad at you for telling me what to do with my own body” and, “it’s okay for me to poop in my diaper because mommy and daddy can clean me up.” Our son is no dummy, he is quick witted, intelligent, and frighteningly manipulative (as most 4 year old boys can be). He chooses not to go #2 on the toilet, for whatever reason, and now we have a 2nd child on the way and he has started peeing in his pants again! We are so lost, and afraid, we don’t want him to be held back because of this. No preschool will take him, and pre-preschool daycare is much to expensive. He is at that point in his childhood where he is going to remember this time, and possibly be affected because of it for a long time. He has a hard time making friends because he eventually starts to smell.. What can we possibly do?
Comment by Chris K — March 22, 2009 @ 6:54 pm
a. I’m not a psychologist nor human behavior specialist so please give that its due consideration.
b. I’m also not local nor can I interject myself into your daily lives and observe…
We are however, creatures of habit and we do most things ‘natrually’ because “habit says we should”.
The problem though is that habits are neither good nor bad they just… “are”.
Your attention to your son’s behavior could be the principles of it’s making. If your son craves your attention and can’t get it “habit says” pee or poo “will”. He may be asscoiating a natural body function as the means to an end. (no different to a child that is held the moment they cry; so they merely cry so they will be held immediately).
That said:
I’m of the thinking that you can’t get help from the Internet “because of my first 2 comments”… “guessing what the specifics are isn’t great advice”… go to your family doctor and ask for a referral to someone to can dig into your lifestyle (…the habits of you and your spouse) and see if there are corrective actions for you.
I agree… most children are not “dummies”… for better or worse, they are highly adaptive to the changing situation.
Comment by admin — March 22, 2009 @ 10:17 pm